Dec
31
Dream Control
December 31, 2008 | 1 Comment
When I was a kid, I loved horror movies. I enjoy watching them alone in the living room. Most of the time I would imagine those spirits, ghosts or demons standing just right behind me giving me goosebumps all over. It was scary but fun. I was so young back then to know that more intriguing experiences are waiting for me. The journey begins…
Ghost Oppression Phenomenon
I think I had my first sleep paralysis at the age of 10. The chinese called them the ghost oppression phenomenon because they believed that you are not able to be awake because spirits are lying on top of your body causing you to be paralyzed.
It was around 5pm in the evening when the sun’s position was just right where the ray was able to reach where I was sleeping. I woke up and heard some noises in the living room but I panicked when I was not able to move! I knew that the sun’s ray was right on my face because I can see them through my eye lids, not unlike what you would see when you direct the flashlight to your eyes with your eye lids closed.
As a member of a very superstitious family or race to be more precise, ghost oppression was the first to came to mind. I started to think which spirit is doing this to me and for what reason. After much thought, I decided to force myself to be awake, but to no avail. After spending around 5 minutes figuring out a way to wake myself up, I finally gave up trying. I went back to sleep out of exhaustion.
I woke up around 20 minutes later (as an estimation based on feelings) and I was still in the same state. This time I was getting more pissed off than fearful and I started forcing myself to be awake out of brute force. I tried for around 10 minutes and I finally managed to break out of paralysis. I was sweating when I woke up, mostly due to the direct sunlight and also the amount of energy I used. If I would put it into words, the feeling of waking myself out of sleep paralysis is like lifting a refrigerator that is lying on top of your body with sheer strength. I call this method force wake.
Sleep paralysis still occurred to me from time to time after that but I dealt with them with totally no fear as I already have the solution to deal with it via “force wake”.
Sequential Nightmares
Practicing force wake benefitted me in other areas of sleep, which is nightmare. I can always force myself out of a nightmare at will. So nightmares had little impact on me until when I was 12. Even though I had mastered force wake, somehow my subconscious mind are able to find a way to counter it, by forcing me to experience sequential nightmares.
During this period I was having very vivid nightmares and the worst thing was that they were sequential, meaning to say that those nightmares continue from where they ended prior to waking up. The was a time where I ended up having 6 sequential nightmare even after force waking myself for 6 times in the same hour. It goes like this :-
I took a bus and went to the back seat. It was around midnight and I was the only passenger. The bus went according to the route and then it went off into the woods. I started to be on alert but said nothing. The bus suddenly stopped in the deep jungle, and I stared at the direction of the driver. He turned off the engine and got up from his seat, heading towards me. It was dead silence. He started walking towards me. I had nowhere to escape as the only entrance was just next to the driver’s seat, so I forced wake myself.
Prior to this, after a force wake I will either not dream or in the worst case land myself in another different nightmare. So naturally I went back to sleep. To my surprise, the driver continued walking from where he left off before I woke up. I got really scared at this point and forced wake myself again. I repeated this cycle for 6 times where in the end the driver was only few feet from me. I could see his face clearly, he was an undead with a soft green aura around him.
I was tired of it and I knew he will get me on the next one, so I get off from my bed and joined my other family members in the living room watching TV. After 30 minutes of watching something I had no interest on and due to the fact that I need to go to school the next morning, I gathered enough courage to go back to sleep. Luckily for me, it didn’t continue, but it remained as my worst sequential nightmare in my life.
Joker Demon
At the age of 16, something more disturbing happened. I was having the same nightmare for 2 weeks. All of those nightmares were masterminded by the same joker demon, having the face of a joker. This joker demon sent all kinds of creatures to attack, torture and even kill me as I was rooted to the ground, not being able to move and defenceless. Towards the end of the 2 weeks I got so mad I thought to myself, “Why am I allowing a demon, which is my own creation, to torture me every night causing sleepless nights?”. I told myself that I will do something the next time I see this demon, just something.
True enough, I met with the joker demon again that night but this time a very strange thing happened. Upon recognizing the joker demon, it confirmed that I was actually in a dream, it worked as a dream cue for me. It then activated the logical part of the brain which is usually shut off during a dream. This allowed me to have totally no fear for the first time in a nightmare. Instead of struggling for survival which I always do when I met the joker demon, this time I managed to stare right at his eyes without any signs of fear. I stared for a moment knowing that I was in control, and then I smiled, in the dream. The dream slowly faded and I was still smiling physically.
Lucid Dreaming
Since that day, I had similar experiences but it is not related to nightmares anymore. I call them dream control due to the lack of vocabulary.
I only found out the correct term Lucid Dream in 2001 when I was doing a research on dreams. I found a forum where people exchanged their experiences with lucid dreaming and also on how can we improve this skill. It lead me to have a lucid dream that week itself. In a lucid dream, everything in your dream construct sparkles with life. It is like you are connected to everything. Bring that mindset to the physical world and you will understand why am I behaving the way I am.
Download and listen to this podcast from Erin Pavlina here for a better understanding on lucid dreams, how to practice them (yes, anyone can have lucid dreams!), and how to improve them.
Angels And Demons
Lucid dream changed the way I look at reality. I began to believe that fear is never needed in our daily lives, which led me to begin my quest in eliminating fear from my life.
By eliminating demons from my life I also removed god from the picture. Angels and demons are only a different side of the same coin, one could not exist without the other. Gods are not needed when there are no enemies and vice versa. I ended up throwing the coin in exchange for total freedom, freedom from fear and worship.
Religion is also the cause of the worst war between humans. It forces us to look at others differently. I prefer to look at everyone as a family, without borders, without fear. I don’t have any particular belief but I think being an atheist is natural for the time being.
The Reason Behind
Why am I having these experiences when I can find no one in my country who are having the same experiences as mine? It is not like someone introduced lucid dreaming to me and I started practising it. It just came out of nowhere. Whatever it is, I am actually grateful that I had such experiences. If I do not, I can imagine myself being afraid of ghosts, believing in god who does not exist and believing in superstitious craps.
Please don’t get intimidated by the effect lucid dreaming will have on you. Today I remember the joker demon as a spirit guide more than a demon. I will never be who I am without him. I can guarantee that lucid dreaming will be the best ride in your entire life! 1080 degrees cork screw is piss in comparison! But you will need a lot of work though. Good luck on that!
“Monks meditate daily hoping that they can wake up from a dream we called life”
References :-
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/01/stevepavlinacom-podcast-010-lucid-dreaming/
http://www.dreamviews.com/
Dec
13
Social Omnivore
December 13, 2008 | 2 Comments
It all started after I’m back from a 2 days trip from Penang during our Independence Day holiday at the end of August 2008. Since more than 80% of the readers are foreign, maybe a short introduction is fitting.
Penang is one of the most developed island in Malaysia. It was announced as a World Heritage Site by UNESCO in July 2008. Besides being one of the most popular historical cities in Malaysia, it is also a food heaven. Me and my friends ate practically everything we can set our eyes on! As usual, we went to a few visiting spots and the highlight would be Bukit Genting. Besides it being my first visit I also enjoyed the sunset styled Thai food.
All in all it was a great trip! Or so it seems…
Losing Hunger
I went to work the next day. During lunch, my colleagues noticed that I ate less than usual. My usual would be twice their portion so it was quite obvious. I told them that my stomach might still be digesting the food from Penang.
I went back home feeling tired. It got worse during dinner time, I had no appetite and started to have cold sweat. Those symptoms reminded me of the worse food poisoning that I had few years back. I slept real early that night.
To my surprise, nothing happened when I woke up in the next morning. Except one thing, I’m still not hungry. I haven’t eaten anything since lunch the day before. At that point, I’m freaking out. As a big eater, that never happened before in my entire life! I decided to see the doctor. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me and gave me some salt sachet to help restore my body’s proper electrolyte balance and vitamin C tablets.
It took around a week or 7 days for me to get accustomed to the new food requirements. If my previous level of hunger is placed on a scale of 1 to 10. I would say the highest achievable level of hunger after losing hunger would be on the scale of 3. In other words, I don’t feel hungry anymore. Scary huh?
I’ve always wanted to try being a vegetarian as part of my self development exercise. I never got to do it due to my enormous appetite for food and also being a meat lover. Since I’ve already accepted the fate of losing the sensation of hunger, perhaps this is the best timing to be a vegetarian.
Vegetarian Detox
To tell you the truth, the first few weeks after losing hunger really felt like I don’t need food for survival. I felt that having enough fluids is enough for my daily diet. I’ve even contemplated on the idea to go on a fluid diet and see how long I can survive. If losing hunger was the first wave, I’ve even considered the possibility of a second wave where I will lose the need for liquids. I think my fascination in Breatharianism and Sun Gazing is taking its toll.
I ended up eating for the sake of eating, just to prevent myself from collapsing. 5 years ago I will consider myself being vegetarian a joke because I was such a pure meat lover. So pure to a state where I can eat only meat in meals, I can even skip drinking water. So I’m considering this a divine intervention.
Going vegetarian was quite easy without the hunger factor but a few detox symptoms can be observed. My head felt foggy or floaty after the 2nd day. Minor flu started on the 3rd day, it was not serious enough for me to apply sick leave but irritating enough to affect your daily job. I would say that the cumulative effects of these detox symptoms decreased my efficiency by 20%. All detox symptoms, mental fogginess and minor flu was gone after 2 weeks on a vegetarian diet.
Pros And Cons Of Being A Social Omnivore
Pros
- Preventing heart diseases or diseases in particular
I consider myself very healthy, judging from the average of 1 medical leave day per year for the past 5 years. Since my father died of cancer, I have no idea if I am inheriting it in my genes as well, so I am a very health conscious person as a result of that. Better safe than well, dead.. right?
From the many articles I’ve read, reducing the consumption of meat will reduce the level of saturated fat and cholesterol in your body which will prevent the blockages in the arteries that will lead to a heart attack. I can’t really prove this one but so far my diet hasn’t failed me.
- Save the animals
It removed the dread that I sometimes get when eating meat, it’s more joyful now knowing that I don’t kill on a daily basis. You might not know what the animals that you eat has to go through in life to end up in your plate. Without much imagination I can guess that it isn’t pleasurable or fun to be put into this world and be eaten before their premature death.
I’ve even heard some people declared that they are animal lovers but they still eat meat. How unconscious can they be? I mean, it’s okay to eat meat. Do whatever you want with your life, I’m a supporter of free will, but please don’t contradict yourself.
- Help reduce waste
Since turning vegetarian I don’t need to dispose of animal wastes like bones, heads (as a kid I do eat chicken brain) , etc anymore.
- Losing fat
It was very difficult for me to reduce stomach flabs with my enormous appetite before. So turning vegetarian has given me a second chance in eliminating stomach flabs.
- Breaking addiction
Besides the health and social reasons, going vegetarian is also a test for me to overcome addiction, the addiction to meat. I’ve seen friend’s and colleague’s mixed results in quitting smoking, most of them failed, unfortunately. Since I’m not a smoker I need to give myself similar challenge. Breaking the addiction to meat sounded difficult, so I took it.
Cons
- Social outcast
Only about 2% of the people I know are vegetarian. So it’s a real challenge for me to keep up with this practice. So in order for me to “blend in”, I allowed myself to eat meat during social gatherings. On average I eat meat about once a week.
- Stereotype
Most of the people have a stereotype about vegetarians looking pale, weak & sickly. I really have no comments on this but I will go on a weight training schedule for the next 6 months to see if I end up pale and weak. Most of the time I learn from personal experiences and I find these stereotypes highly inaccurate.
Darwin’s Theory And Vegetarianism
Charles Robert Darwin was an English naturalist, who realised and demonstrated that all species of life have evolved over time from common ancestors through the process he called natural selection. His theory :
As many more individuals of each species are born than can possibly survive; and as, consequently, there is a frequently recurring struggle for existence, it follows that any being, if it vary however slightly in any manner profitable to itself, under the complex and sometimes varying conditions of life, will have a better chance of surviving, and thus be naturally selected. From the strong principle of inheritance, any selected variety will tend to propagate its new and modified form.
Being a social omnivore for 3 months now, I began to imagine what would be the next step in human evolution. I consider Darwin’s theory observed the physical side of evolution and I think we’ve almost reached a stage of perfection, judging from our current physical ability and the number of World Records being broken every year in sports. If our physical structure has been evolving through natural selection all this while, I think the next step in mental or spiritual evolution will be based on conscious choice.
If nature chose the more resilient species to survive, I think now it has reached a stage where we must dictate our next evolution as nature is dwindling down in numbers, so to speak. Using our diet as an example, humans are omnivores by nature but herbivors by choice. It is really interesting if we would choose to be herbivors as a species as a solution to the impending global disaster such as global warming.
Is This Permanent?
I really have no idea if this is permanent and I have no idea if I will turn full vegetarian, vegan or even a raw foodist in the future. Being a pure meat lover is definitely a no. Most probably I will stick to my current eating habit for awhile, eating meat socially or being a social omnivore. But one thing is certain, I will surely aim to improve as time goes by, definitely by conscious choice..